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i am not an engineer

by Alvidrez

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1.
and we're taking up all our things and we're making it work I found you in the broken space some duration of the lamp light and I need more time to hang me up on your wall when I'm gone the silent treatment was part of my seams and I put your old shirts on to cover the holes in them we're on the edge with our shoes in the water and I don't know where it's rushing at all at all
2.
pouring pains into my pocket burning holes in my sleep and I sleep well don't want to get out of the clouds I know its gonna hurt but I can't stop
3.
flea 03:05
when will the world be in a straight line? don't think it will ever be because angie's lost her mind when she wakes up, the whole house is clean why is it up to her to fix everything and the whole house feels like playinh pretend why am I always reaching for the bed I teach myself how to fall and spin I am just a flea condemned to be free
4.
blue 02:21
5.
you're finding holes in the walls i push the green you're pushing everything away i doubt you'd do the things you wanted to so build your store of worthless things leave me out of your proud and falling wall your hands are around your own neck your shot in your own damn leg your stones in your own damn bed untie yourself, you're in a falling well so build you store of worthless things leave me out of your proud and falling wall your hands are around your own neck
6.
mud 02:44
let everyone have their ideas let us be children with our games my love, I'll make you a mud pie and you'll pretend like it's enough to eat I've finally found a safe bed I get good sleep and wake up rested we sit as disasters in the quiet you'll wanna hit me like a pan hit in the night but we talk, we talk instead I've found a place, I take off my shoes I get good sleep and wake up rested
7.
grass 02:21
I feel I feel so lucky isn't it divine the most honest song I'll leave you out out in the cold keep you under my bed with all the things I don't know you were always aching to show your blue you've forgotten to build I just wanted someone to get me but I feel so tired of everything all we are is lost all I feel is drunk I give you my space just to get you to wake put myself in danger drink too much bitter just to make sure you feel okay I'll blow my brains out I'll come to you I'll scare myself in the morning I'll feel you burn when you come to me I feel I'm getting cruel again It's just too much
8.
9.
sun 04:40
and I'm burning with promise tails from rabbits tales for ones who need luck in the days with dogs in the yard everything was free and I'll sit on the church lawn finding my strings did you forget you're looking in the street where all the stores are filled with useless things did you know you've been gone for weeks or was it just a worthy pleasure to be free and I'm burning with promise tails from rabbits tales for ones who need luck the ground is getting softer feeling nowhere nothing left to run from in the days with gods in the yard everything was free and I'll sit on the church lawn finding my strings

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written, performed, and recorded with love by Libby Alvidrez Hsieh

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released February 25, 2022

Mixed and Mastered at Green Door Studios

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Alvidrez Los Angeles, California

big big heart

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